A Small Excerpt From Lisa Caza’s NEWLY RELEASED Book ‘Finding Paradise After the Storm’
Paradise Found: New Love Relationships & How to Make Them Succeed
Every Love Will Be Different
This is one lesson that I personally learned relatively quickly: no matter how hard you try you will not ever experience the same kind of love twice. I have had a number of clients come to me to ‘complain’ that while they adore their new love partner, it just doesn’t ‘feel the same’ as what they had experienced with a past partner – and that they yearn to have that same love again. Well … no. It won’t feel the same … and it never will. It won’t matter who you are with, you will experience different dynamics and levels of love. I know that this is a rather hard pill to swallow, but it’s just the way it is. If you’re wanting to experience that same feeling of love, then unfortunately you’re going to have to return to that ex-partner because that’s the only way you’ll be able to fulfill that particular desire (and if that ex-partner was toxic and/or abusive in any way, then I definitely do not encourage you to do so!).
Every person is unique – therefore every relationship will be unique. Each and every relationship experience will have its own set of dynamics and its own energetic vibration. Once you come to a place of understanding and acceptance of this basic truth, you will then set yourself free from that restrictive viewpoint and will be able to truly embrace and enjoy the new relationship connection that you have in front of you.
You know, over the course of my 20 years of performing readings for folks, one of the most common questions that I am asked is “How can I find my soul mate – or as you would say – life partner?”
Well, within my readings with clients I have noticed an extremely strong “trend” or message from Spirit – and it is the same message over and over. So I am actually going to post this seemingly “universal answer” for everyone to see here – for those who don’t wish to have a reading but still would love to know the answer to this rather infamous question.
Firstly, you must come to realize that you cannot sufficiently love another if you don’t first love yourself (just like the old advice one would give a new mother with a baby: you can’t take care of the baby unless you first take care of yourself)! That is the most important step that a person can take! And in doing so, did you know that the more that you show yourself love then quite ultimately the more that your heart centre opens. Now, our heart centres – or heart chakras if you wish – that is where we both send and thus receive love in our lives (including receiving messages from divine).
Let’s expand on that concept a bit more here for I don’t wish to create confusion. Self-love isn’t just about our attitudes, perceptions of self, self-esteem, how we eat, exercise, and so on. For most of us those are the first things we actually tend to think about when someone tells us to “take care of ourselves” or “love ourselves more.” However – many of us forget the spiritual and emotional aspect of self – and the opening of our heart centres.
Ask yourself this one question: When was the last time you spent quality time with yourself? Now I know what you’re thinking – how do I nurture the emotional and spiritual aspect of self? It’s quite easy actually. What you do is you focus on and pursue all those things that you hold dear to your heart: your hobbies, your general interests and skills, and activities that you would most thoroughly enjoy doing – it CANNOT be related to your career path – unless it is something artistic/creative in nature like for example photography. In order to help illustrate to you what spirit is meaning here (and to help get you thinking), I will give you a list of examples. Now, by no means is this list limited – the possibilities are virtually endless. But what you need to keep in mind is that you need to concentrate/focus on things that attract/interest YOU personally – and you definitely need to steer clear of more “negative” types of activities – for example if you don’t wish to have partner that drinks, then please do not go looking at nightclubs, bars or dances! Some spiritually-fulfilling activities are for example: painting, writing lessons, dancing lessons, book critiquing, singing, acting, nature photography, playing a sport or a musical instrument, taking up a class to learn a new skill or to hone an already existing one, volunteering time at a local animal’s or women’s shelter or hospice, hiking or some other sort of outdoor activity, pursuing/growing your own metaphysical abilities, flying/traveling, taking a more active role in a church or spiritual community, horseback riding (I always use horseback riding as an example as that’s how I ultimately met my husband!), joining mutual interest groups (i.e. NA, AA, Single Parents, spiritual/metaphysical groups and/or dating sites, etc.), jewellery-making, and so on (literally this list could be a mile long). Like I say those are just simply examples off the top of my head – you need to focus on YOURSELF and what YOU are naturally drawn to/interested in. And another point to remember too is that you cannot limit yourself. Don’t place limitations on what you pursue – pursue ALL that you want to pursue!
So the bottom line here, if you really wish to find that ultimate life partner – or as most term them: your “soul mate” – then this would be a first ACTION STEP that you need to take in order to reach that goal. Realize that the Universe/Divine does try to help us in reaching our goals. But we can’t be helped sufficiently unless we make half of the effort required. All of the prayers and positive affirmations – they’re great and strongly encouraged. However, how good are those prayers and affirmations that you put out there if you don’t do your share of work in your relationship with Divine?
It might sound rather self-centered to focus on yourself first, but if one takes a few moments to ponder over what Spirit has been suggesting to countless folks through my readings, it actually makes complete sense.
So show yourself more love! Get more involved with and for yourself so that your heart centre (chakra) will grow and open up more – which will allow you to receive more love in your life! Once you start doing this you will be amazed (and thrilled) at just how many wonderful new connections and doors of opportunity will be created … including potential love partners!
And hey as a side note here too: As you start pursuing all of those things that you hold dear to your heart … STOP LOOKING FOR HIM OR HER!!! Realize that when you’re looking for them, on a subconscious level there is this underlying “fear” or “nervousness” that automatically goes with it (i.e. “I’m never going to find him/her. I don’t know where to look. What if I miss them somehow?, and so on. ) – which in turn creates negative energy (which we don’t want if we’re trying to manifest something for ourselves. Remember the Law of Attraction: what you put out you attract more of. So the more negative you put out there, the more you’ll be blocked from the positive). So STOP THAT!!! Stop looking and just concentrate on yourself only because that will be when they “magically appear” in your life!