Can a Parent Influence Who Their Adult Child Attracts for a Love Partner?
I was recently approached about the possibility of holding a seminar for parents – to teach them how to attract the best love partners for their adult children. At first I thought, “Hey! What an awesome idea!” I’m a parent of six children and know all too well the headaches and heartaches you can sometimes run into when one of your children announces that they’re dating “so and so” … and you just can’t stand this person for whatever reason. I’ve been through it – as I’m sure many others have as well.
But – I came to the realization relatively quickly that my initial reaction to the seminar suggestion was purely coming from my human ego. Later that night I got my usual kick in the rear end from Spirit and heard this:
“What in the HELL are you doing? You can’t do that!”
I sat right up in bed and asked, “Why? Why not? Based on the Law of Attraction we can attract or manifest anything we wish for in our lives. Why can’t a parent attract the best love partner for their child?” I then received this very blunt answer:
“Because it’s NOT YOUR life to influence!”
Well talk about being humbled to the core! Spirit, as always, was right. Let me try to explain:
Indeed it is true: the basic principle of the Law of Attraction is that we are the sole creators of our lives – if we put our minds to it we can attract anything we desire for ourselves … just so long as it does not interfere with someone else’s Free Will. And that’s the main reason why we can’t attract love partners for our children. It would be interfering with THEIR free will, THEIR life path, THEIR divinely-intended life lessons and experiences. We would essentially be imposing OUR ego-based desires onto them. As a result … it just wouldn’t work anyways. We could try to manifest as hard as we can … but the Universe just won’t touch the idea. Just like we have our own soul plans, our children are no different! They too have their own plans .. and they’ll follow them whether we like it or not.
This doesn’t mean though that we can’t pray for our children and spiritually protect them the best we can. We can always send out our loving prayers and hopes, but we must honor the life path that was chosen by our childrens’ spirits prior to their birth. As hard as what it is for us, we must let go to a degree so that they can make their own mistakes and learn their own lessons. We can guide and give advice … but we can’t directly meddle.
Admittedly that’s an extremely hard pill to swallow – even for me. But who am I to argue with Spirit? I want to argue with Spirit … but how can I? I’m guilty of behaving this way … I will admit it. But I likewise see the reasoning behind what Spirit is trying to teach us. I don’t like it … but I guess I have to accept it.
The last piece of advice that I was given by Spirit that night was the concept of us definitely being able to pray for them, guide and give advice when necessary, and then spiritually protect them by performing a simple but very effective visualization technique: Envision your child or children as being enveloped in the most energized and beautiful pink and green light bubble. Pink and green are the colors of divine love and healing. Granted this energized bubble will not be as effective as it would be if your child/children were doing it for themselves – it will work to some extent but it won’t be 100% full force – but again this comes down to the concept of not interfering with another spirit’s Free Will.
Parenting isn’t easy. Especially when we reach those late teenage years and beyond. Our roles as parents do change drastically. And it can be difficult for us to sit back and watch our children make what we perceive as huge mistakes – including perhaps getting into some rather not-so-lovely romantic relationships. But – as hard as what it is – well it IS their life – NOT ours. And once we begin to fully accept that, our relationships with them will strengthen.
We must have faith that the principles and morals that we’ve instilled within them will “take effect” (and they always do!), and we will always be parents – but now our role is that of guidance. It is up to our children to accept that guidance or not – it is not up to us to influence their lives, love partners, or even career path for that matter! And in the meantime, we can silently pray, send out loving energies their way – and even help a wee bit with visualizing that healing bubble.
Message received Spirit! Lesson learned. Now to incorporate it! BLAH! LOL!
We are, as spiritual beings, essentially our own creators in our lives. We can create the greatest of lives, but we can also be our own worst enemies and create the most chaotic of lives. It is all a matter of choice – a choice between being happy and being in turmoil. Everyone of course chooses happiness. But once we make that choice and pursue that happiness, oftentimes a lot of us come up against a block. Something always gets in our way – something negative – something that seems to always delay or stop us from attaining our goals. Why? What is causing this? Well … it all comes down to one thing: the Law of Attraction. It’s got nothing to do with being cursed or unlucky. It’s got nothing to do with outside forces or other people. All of those ideas give power over our lives to something other than ourselves. They are excuses! Again: we are our own creators. Whatever we experience we ultimately attracted.
The Law of Attraction will ALWAYS be at work in our lives whether we realize it or not … and whether we like it or not. So instead of causing it to create chaos all the time, we need to realize what it is SUPPOSED to be used for and put it to PROPER USE: which is to create the happiest and most abundant of lives for ourselves.
Here is how we use the Law of Attraction to our benefit (below the article be sure to watch my video that discusses some of these principles here. I also discuss a few pointers that I haven’t included in this article – of which I feel are extremely important to know about if you are going to use this universal law to improve your life):
Like Attracts Like!
Almost everyone knows the basic principle used within the Law of Attraction: whatever we put out there to the Universe then ultimately we just attract more of the same. So in other words negative attracts more negative while positive attracts more positive. All of our emotions, thoughts, words, and attitudes are heard.
Always be aware of your thoughts, emotions, self-talk, statements, fears & worries, and attitudes. If you are always focusing on a worry, fear, or sense of lacking, then unfortunately you will just attract more worry and lack. For as often as possible maintain positive attitudes, thoughts and self-talk. More on this in a few moments …
Take Ownership of Your Life!
In accepting the reality that you are your own creator in your life, then what must come with this is you having to take ownership for everything in your life: past, present and future. For many of us this is a rather hard pill to swallow because we have had to go through many difficult events and circumstances … but it is a necessary requirement. Realize that before you were even born into this world you chose what life to live and what life experiences you would go through (yes even the most horrible of events like abuse – WE CHOSE TO EXPERIENCE IT for our spirit’s evolution! Trust me … I personally wish I could kick my own spirit’s ass for putting me through all that LOL!). Aside from that, even our money troubles, being without a life partner, not having a job or career, not getting pregnant, not owning our own home … we attracted it. All of it. So, in taking ownership, we have the power to change things around for the better. Only WE can do this! No one else can nor will do it for us. Our lives are not other people’s responsibility!
This is where we focus on the most basic principle: what we put out there we ultimately attract more of. I touched upon this a few moments ago but I need to go into greater detail here.
As mentioned, negative thoughts, emotions and self-talk just attracts more negative events. We don’t want that anymore! It is difficult, but we must remain as positive in our thoughts and self-talk as we possibly can. For example, if you are constantly saying to yourself, “I’m never going to find a life partner,” or “I’m never going to save money,” … well you’re right! With that sort of negativity you’re not! I’m sorry to be so blunt here but that’s just the way the Law of Attraction works. It takes our thoughts, attitudes and beliefs as truth – and because this universal law is actually there to help us succeed – well … it gives us what we want ALL THE TIME. That negative self-talk is being understood as our true desire. So essentially, our prayers are always being heard and answered – that’s why all of us tend to see a cycling of “one step forward two steps back.”
ALWAYS put out the most positive thoughts, self-talk, affirmations and prayers. And here’s a trick: whenever you find yourself thinking or feeling negatively, immediately state to the Universe, “I retract those negative thoughts/emotions/statements.” And then add your own POSITIVE affirmation.
Watch Those Affirmations!
Speaking of affirmations, I’ve found that a lot of folks, because they are so used to the negativity in their lives they don’t even realize that they’re even putting that negativity into their, what they believe, positive affirmations and prayers! Take a look at this affirmation:
“I will continue to fight the current or tide until I reach my ultimate goal.”
Do you feel the negativity in there? And it is caused by just one word: “fight.” Well, yes … they are going to continue fighting now for sure! Never make an affirmation that contains negative words such as fight, struggle, survive, lack, etc. Furthermore, I also need to say that affirmations must be very specific. So, what goal is trying to be accomplished here? This affirmation doesn’t specify. Therefore this particular affirmation won’t get the person very far … if at all. It needs to be reworded so that absolutely no hint of negativity is felt and the very specific goal is likewise stated:
“I am worthy of a very loving and supportive life partner, and we will find each other soon.”
“I will find the perfect home for myself and my family. It will be affordable and the transaction will go smoothly.”
Those two examples are great, positive affirmations. However, I personally would reword them even more … you will see what I mean in the next sub topic … all about attitude.
Attitude and Belief is Everything!
When we ultimately re-take ownership over our lives, we then adopt this very strong determination that “enough is enough.” We become defiant … but in a good way. Hold on to that defiance because it will add positive fuel to your fire.
When we talk about attitude though, there are a few other different concepts to incorporate.
Firstly, let’s go back to our affirmations for a moment. As mentioned I would take the two examples I gave you and reword them even more in order to make them sound like the goal has actually already been reached!
“I have found the most loving, supportive and committed life partner and we will live a very long and happy life together.”
“My family home is very beautiful and extremely affordable. The purchase transaction went through smoothly and we will live in this home for many years to come.”
So a major trick I’ve noticed not too many other teachers out there have revealed is this: TAKE ON THE ATTITUDE THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY MANIFESTED YOUR SPECIFIC DESIRE! AND FIRMLY BELIEVE IN IT! EVEN BEHAVE AS IF YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR INTENDED GOAL IN YOUR HAND! Doing this actually “confuses” the Universe into believing that perhaps it has failed you! When the Universe hears and feels this attitude, it goes, “Oh no! What’s going on here? What have we missed? This person fully believes that they have this, but they actually don’t! We had better get up off our butts and fulfill this desire so that their beliefs and our actions are congruent!” Trust me … this works. And people that know me know that I don’t just blow a lot of hot air. I only introduce concepts and ideas that I personally believe in and know works – all due to my own experience with them. I used this “trick” to better my own life financially. I took on the full attitude that I am a celebrity and in high demand. A month later after taking on that attitude, finances and clientele tripled – and the same can be said for media appearances. So I know this works! But you have to incorporate ALL of the concepts talked about in order to see true success (positive affirmations and thoughts, taking action, etc).
A second concept regarding attitude that MUST be talked about is that of making sure your intentions are always pure of heart. Affirmations and prayers that have been created with the energy of jealousy, vindictiveness, spite, ego, revenge, etc will NOT work at all. Again … the negative energy is there and it will work against you. I found this out the hard way. Here is one of my old affirmations that I’d say to myself sometimes (seriously – I was a very angry person at one time due to the abuses of others in my life over the years): “I swear if I ever become famous and make tons of money some people are going to be very sorry. I’ll show them. They better not ever try to get back into my life because I’ll just turn and walk away. I’ll have a few choice words for them as well.” How ugly is that? That’s horrible! But … that was me. However, that was also before I took ownership over my own life. And no, I wasn’t getting anywhere with that attitude. But see now how important it is to take back that ownership and power? Very essential if you want to get anywhere with the Law of Attraction!
Always be thankful for what you have today. Always focus on the abundance that is already in your life so that you can actually attract more to be thankful for! You’re not going to get anywhere if you always concentrate on having a lack of something – lack of money, lack of love, lack lack lack lack. Again … focus only on the positive! Be thankful for your home, your health, the money you do have, the vehicles you own, the marriage/family/children that you have, on and on. You can find countless things to be thankful for. NEVER focus on ANY sort of lack! Don’t even give it the time of day. It will just work against you.
Action Speaks Louder Than Words!
This is one of the most important, yet seriously overlooked, aspects of working with the Law of Attraction! Folks, no amount of positive thoughts, affirmations or prayers will help you if you don’t take the physical action that is required in order to actually manifest your goals! Nothing is going to just fall down from the sky into your lap. No love partner is going to just magically knock on your door one day and whisk you off your feet.
Realize that our relationship with God/Divine and the Universe is the exact same as what we would have with a close friend or love partner: it is a literal 50-50 two way street in terms of effort. You MUST meet in the middle in order for the relationship to succeed. So, while God/Divine and the Universe is literally poised to help you, you need to first help yourself by taking action for yourself. By taking those physical action steps, you give the Universe the tools that it needs in order to help you. So for example, if you hire a carpenter to build you a new kitchen, how can he do so if you first don’t supply him with the materials? Looking for a life partner? Well get out there and get noticed (refer to my article on finding a life partner for more assistance with this goal)! Looking for a new job? Start searching! Want to buy a new home? Again … start searching!
Do your share of the leg work and the Universe will respond in kind.
This is truly how the Law of Attraction works … and how we should use it to create the life we truly wish for ourselves. It isn’t easy, but it isn’t too difficult either. Implement ALL of these concepts that I’ve talked about here, remain determined, and hang in there. It may take a month or two before you start to see some progress … but you WILL see it! Hey … if I can do it then ANYONE can! It’s all about making one simple choice first and foremost: Do you choose happiness? Or constant chaos? The Law of Attraction always responds to what we say we want. So take ownership of your life, be congruent with your choice, and pursue it!
Here is the video that I created. I encourage you to watch it as I discuss a few things that were NOT mentioned in this article: