Tag Archives: clearing negativity

Confronting & Finalizing Long-Standing Issues

Get Answers & Closure Before It’s Too Late!

I have to say that over the course of the last two months I have noticed a frequently occurring “theme” amongst a lot of my friends, family and clientele … and admittedly I’m also included in this (much to my displeasure lol)! And I started to notice this “theme” approximately two weeks after my now late ex-husband crossed over (which was this past Sept. 3rd).

I’m going to have to be extremely blunt here because there’s just no other way to say it:

It is time for all of us to confront any and all long-standing issues that we may have had with our family members and friends … and before it’s “too late.” So in other words, any family disputes that haven’t been resolved, grudges that are being held against others, unspoken truths that need to be stated, required questions and/or answers that are desired, and so on: everything needs to be addressed and some sort of closure reached. Even if it’s just to speak your own truth of what you experienced with those certain individuals.

As mentioned, my noticing this theme for the vast majority of us started shortly after my ex-husband passed away. And what occurred just two days before he died and for a few weeks afterwards is basically the “lesson” that Spirit wishes for us to learn and realize. So with that said, I will self-disclose here … just to get my point across.

No one knew that he was sick – he didn’t tell anyone until the last moment (quite literally). My husband Yvon and I went away for a bit for our 10th anniversary. Upon my return I see a message from my ex-husband stating that he was in hospital going through tests to see what was wrong with him (he was severely jaundiced and in a lot of pain). Of course I responded and told him to please let me know as soon as he received results. A few days pass without any word, so I sent another message requesting an update. About an hour later I received a response (and I am going to copy and paste his actual message):

Well no good news….I have cancer of the liver…very agressive…there giving me weeks to go…chemo could make it even more agressive..if You want to call and talk about.X-XXX-XXXX is my cell…k?

That was on a Friday morning, and you better believe I called him immediately. You could tell that he was in some discomfort, but he was good where we spoke for well over an hour. In that hour we both confessed truths to each other and made sure we let each other know that no matter what there was still love there despite it all – and we cried. I told him I would do my best to try and get our 3 children down to see him.

The following Saturday morning, as soon as I woke up I sent him a message to check up on him. Right away he called me – and not a word of a lie his condition was severe. At that point he couldn’t even talk all that well – all he could do was gasp for air and speak one word at a time in between his gasps and grunts, but what he did say to me will forever haunt me: “Lisa, I’m not going to see you. I’m not going to make it. Remember when I had double-pneumonia? Well this is worse. A lot worse. Call my brother. He doesn’t know.” Through both of our tears I promised him I would contact his brother (which I did), and I made sure again that I said “I will always have a special place in my heart for you” … that was the last that I ever spoke to him. Within hours, he degraded to the point where he was no longer coherent. I would receive update calls from his first ex-wife throughout the day and evening: he wasn’t going to make it to the morning.  By 10pm that night they had to sedate him, then at shortly after 4am Sunday morning he crossed over.

Now … as many folks who have read my book may already know: our children refused to speak to or see him due to a lot of anger and resentment – they felt that he essentially abandoned them. And Yvon and I would frequently ask them to at least talk to their biological father – the most recent being this past July – 2 months before he died … but they refused. Because we were given literally NO TIME before he passed and nothing was said to us about ANY kind of illness prior, well as a result all three children were dealing with a lot of regret, self-blame and guilt, and no real sense of closure for the long-standing issues that they were carrying. My ex-husband had numerous occasions to tell either me or my husband Yvon that he was ill (the 3 of us were very good friends and spoke quite frequently!) … but he never did. I did confront him about that when he could still talk that Friday, but his response was: “Well I didn’t know. I just thought it was an infection or something.” So no warning … no chance to arrange any sort of meeting for my children to confront!

So that’s the point here folks. And as mentioned, it isn’t just within my own personal life that I have seen this “theme” – over the past few months I have seen it occur with many of my close friends as well. I have asked Spirit for guidance on this, and apparently it is a “global task” that needs to be accomplished. Furthermore, it seems that this period or phase is going to last for the rest of this year.

Now for some more self-disclosure: I have been estranged from my biological mother and brother for over 7 years (and before this there was a period of time of I think 5 years that I didn’t speak to nor see my mother). I will not go into details (because that would essentially take a full book!), but I will say that I have refused to speak to them due to A LOT of past issues, things that have been said and done to me (past and more recent), and so on (yuck!). They are, in a nutshell, sociopaths and chaos-creators to the core – very dark and negative energies. And after the last “bout” of chaos that I experienced, I made the ultimate decision to nix them out of my life permanently. I was/am tired of it to say the least.

Anyways, as I write this I have a 7-page letter open in my Word Program. I’ve stated MY TRUTH as I experienced it as a child and as an adult, I addressed a lot of issues that I have been carrying with me, and I’ve made sure that I was clear that the letter was in no way an attempt to reconnect. This letter has been sitting here now for over a week. I just can’t bring myself to send it … yet.

But I know it has to be done … before it is “too late.” So I want you all to know that I can relate to how difficult confronting issues is going to be, but Spirit apparently has a plan for us in doing so. I have been told that doing this will release us from “prison” – for that’s basically what we’ve done to ourselves in holding on to these long-standing issues. Once released, I have the sense that we’ll start to notice more positive opportunities entering our lives, and we will progress more successfully along our life paths – reaching goals more easily, and so on. We will also notice a lot more inner peace, fulfillment and happiness. Spirit is trying to give us this chance: between now and New Year’s is the time to do it I am told – for we will be much more strongly loved and supported by Spirit during this time – so we’ll have “extra support” between now and then as we go through the process of confronting and finalizing. So yup. It has to be done. And before we “lose the chance” and have that horrible realization like my children got … that it would be “too late.”

Much love to everyone. And if anyone would like to have a wee bit of guidance to get started on your own process of confronting and finalizing, I would be more than happy to help! Like I say, I have to do it too: writing out a letter is easy – it’s actually sending it that’s the most difficult!

**** EDIT: I just received a response from this article and the person who contacted me stated that they have long-standing issues, and truths needing to be told to an ex, but they were concerned that their ex wouldn’t accept, understand or appreciate what they had to say. Listen folks: this process isn’t about THEM! It is NOT your responsibility when it comes to a person accepting or understanding information given to them – which in this case is your truth. This process that Spirit is wanting a lot of us to do is about YOU ONLY – NOT the other person! Speak your truth – and all of it … for that’s all that matters!