Do You Have Expectations?”
By: Tania Bartlett of Soul Writings By Tania
Have you ever had an expectation and then were disappointed when it is not done in the way that you “expected” it to be? What about being treated the same way you treat others? Do you expect them to have the same heart and care like you do?
I know for myself this is huge and is something that I am still working on. It is not easy! Think of how freeing it would be to live a life free of expectations! Not everybody is considerate or thoughtful like you are and that is just reality unfortunately. We hope that they will respond how we hope or think they should, or do things that we would do to be helpful but that is just not the case. A good quote I read was “Expectations are the root of all heartache” and that sums it up well.
We ask ourselves, how do we handle this? How can we live without expectations? I feel that there are different aspects to this. Being a parent, there are certain things that are expected. For example: going to school, good behaviour, values, manners, helpful, kindness to others, good hygiene, among many other. These types are expectations that set boundaries on behaviour to guide them into functioning adults. This is not what I’m writing about. When we go out of our way to help others and it is either not appreciated or they don’t say thank you as we would do, we set up that expectation that everyone is grateful, well mannered and would respond like you would. When we expect them to respond in a certain way, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Keep focus on the task at hand and just do things to help and not “expect” a thank you, recognition or what ever you feel you need. Do it out of the kindness of your heart not your ego. You can acknowledge the unkindness of others but do not harp on it or keep thinking of it over and over. Let it go. It is not about giving up or thinking negatively of others. It’s about releasing our attachment to outcomes and eliminating the need for validation. To let go, is to lovingly surrender to what is and be at peace with it.
This does not mean that you become a door mat! Trust me, I’ve done my fair share of saying “Your Welcome” when I don’t get a “Thank you”. Not taking things personally is the hardest aspect of this. Make sure that you are doing things for people for the right reasons, check your motivation behind it. Your motivation is the foundation of your thoughts and actions. Be honest with yourself. You might be able to hide your intentions from others, but you can’t hide them from yourself. It’s not always easy to do! All we can do is to be the best person you can be and make sure that you are authentic in your kindness. One of the easiest ways to practice “no expectations” is by being an anonymous donor by paying it forward. Next time your in the drive thorough, buy for the person behind you. You are not “expecting” a thank you because by the time they know what happened, you are long gone but it warms their heart, they are grateful, puts a smile on their face and they will hopefully pay it forward as well. This is a first step to releasing expectations.
As the quote by Sri Chinmoy states, “Peace begins when expectations end”. Living a peaceful life is what we all strive for. And it is in your grasp! All you need to do is relax, feel with your heart, live life for you and all that you love. We are all human and there will be setbacks.Keep your thoughts positive, your energy clear and a bunch of faith. When you feel doubt creep in and those expectations start to come into your head, stop yourself in your tracks and change focus and reframe, what can you do to accept the other person’s actions or position without judgement?
Is there a situation currently in your life where you hold expectations? What can you do today to help you let go of them?
About Tania: A friend of Lisa Caza’s and popular in their community, she is a mother to 2 fantastic teen sons and step-son. Living this crazy and wild, beautiful life with her Twin Flame. Together they are unstoppable! They are each others balance, yin and yang. Tania is also an Entrepreneur who owns and operates Cameron’s Beach Campground during the summer months. Energy healing, workshops and writing are her passions. Follow her in her Facebook Fanpage and visit her blog.