Category Archives: Empowerment

Having Expectations

Do You Have Expectations?”

By: Tania Bartlett of Soul Writings By Tania

Have you ever had an expectation and then were disappointed when it is not done in the way that you “expected” it to be? What about being treated the same way you treat others? Do you expect them to have the same heart and care like you do?

I know for myself this is huge and is something that I am still working on. It is not easy! Think of how freeing it would be to live a life free of expectations! Not everybody is considerate or thoughtful like you are and that is just reality unfortunately. We hope that they will respond how we hope or think they should, or do things that we would do to be helpful but that is just not the case. A good quote I read was “Expectations are the root of all heartache” and that sums it up well.

We ask ourselves, how do we handle this? How can we live without expectations? I feel that there are different aspects to this. Being a parent, there are certain things that are expected. For example: going to school, good behaviour, values, manners, helpful, kindness to others, good hygiene, among many other. These types are expectations that set boundaries on behaviour to guide them into functioning adults. This is not what I’m writing about. When we go out of our way to help others and it is either not appreciated or they don’t say thank you as we would do, we set up that expectation that everyone is grateful, well mannered and would respond like you would. When we expect them to respond in a certain way, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Keep focus on the task at hand and just do things to help and not “expect” a thank you, recognition or what ever you feel you need. Do it out of the kindness of your heart not your ego. You can acknowledge the unkindness of others but do not harp on it or keep thinking of it over and over. Let it go. It is not about giving up or thinking negatively of others. It’s about releasing our attachment to outcomes and eliminating the need for validation. To let go, is to lovingly surrender to what is and be at peace with it.

This does not mean that you become a door mat! Trust me, I’ve done my fair share of saying “Your Welcome” when I don’t get a “Thank you”. Not taking things personally is the hardest aspect of this. Make sure that you are doing things for people for the right reasons, check your motivation behind it. Your motivation is the foundation of your thoughts and actions. Be honest with yourself. You might be able to hide your intentions from others, but you can’t hide them from yourself. It’s not always easy to do! All we can do is to be the best person you can be and make sure that you are authentic in your kindness. One of the easiest ways to practice “no expectations” is by being an anonymous donor by paying it forward. Next time your in the drive thorough, buy for the person behind you. You are not “expecting” a thank you because by the time they know what happened, you are long gone but it warms their heart, they are grateful, puts a smile on their face and they will hopefully pay it forward as well. This is a first step to releasing expectations.

As the quote by Sri Chinmoy states, “Peace begins when expectations end”. Living a peaceful life is what we all strive for. And it is in your grasp! All you need to do is relax, feel with your heart, live life for you and all that you love. We are all human and there will be setbacks.Keep your thoughts positive, your energy clear and a bunch of faith. When you feel doubt creep in and those expectations start to come into your head, stop yourself in your tracks and change focus and reframe, what can you do to accept the other person’s actions or position without judgement?

Is there a situation currently in your life where you hold expectations? What can you do today to help you let go of them?

Cheers 🙂
Tania xo

About Tania: A friend of Lisa Caza’s and popular in their community, she is a mother to 2 fantastic teen sons and step-son. Living this crazy and wild, beautiful life with her Twin Flame. Together they are unstoppable! They are each others balance, yin and yang. Tania is also an Entrepreneur who owns and operates Cameron’s Beach Campground during the summer months. Energy healing, workshops and writing are her passions. Follow her in her Facebook Fanpage and visit her blog.

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Spirit Dream Visits

Dreaming of Deceased Friends & Loved Ones: Are They Real Visitations From the Other Side?

My Experience and How to Tell If It’s Real

As many of you know, I don’t tend to do a lot of mediumship work. I actually don’t know why because I know I can do it. I guess I just don’t really like to focus on it much … unless I really have to …

Which leads me into saying, I definitely don’t have a shortage of experience with spirits and the paranormal – I have been visited quite a few times over the years by different spirits; all usually just trying to get some messages across to their loved ones (and I’m left with the detective work to try and figure out who they were trying to reach lol!). But what about spirits of my OWN dear friends or loved ones? Have I had any encounters with them?

YES!

However, I have to be honest here and say that sadly it has only occurred with me twice in my entire life – and in both instances the spirits came to visit me in my dreamworld. (I’ve been told by other readers that my lack of visits is due to my not using my mediumship abilities in my work lol. My bad …). The first occurrence was in the summer of 2000, and it was a visit with one of my good friends Ted who passed away in a car accident. The second was just recently: about a month ago and it was a visit from my ex-husband.

In my visit with Ted, he was reassuring me that he was okay and that I needed to stop crying over him so much. And strangely, the opposite occurred with my visit with my ex: he looked at me silently with such a profound grief, regret and sadness, and he then broke down like I’ve never seen him do before – and there I was holding him, comforting him, and telling him “it’s okay, it will be all right, you’ll be okay.” In each case, right after the main message was conveyed I woke up.  Obviously Ted’s intent with his visit was to comfort me and ease my grief. But with my ex, I spoke with another reader and she confirmed it: I performed an actual spirit rescue in my dream-state. It was my ex that was full of grief and couldn’t move on.

Now the main gist of this article: were those visits actually real? Can we tell the difference between a real dream visitation and that of our own imaginations?

Yes, they were real, and yes there is a huge difference between real dream visitations and dreams that we create ourselves. And I will give you the “clues” to watch out for (which were present in BOTH of my experiences). A real dream visitation will have the following:

  • The person visiting you in the dream will know full well that they have died.
  • If there are other people around you in the dream, they will not be able to see the person that’s visiting you.
  • The dreams themselves are quite vivid and you will always remember the details – for the rest of your life.
  • A spirit usually can’t do visits of this nature for approximately one and a half months after the date of actual death (both my experiences happened in the same time frame of a month and a half after initial passing).
  • You will feel and know in your heart that the dream was a real communication.
  • The dreams themselves will be extremely emotional; you will feel very profound emotions that are not only felt in the dream itself, but even long after you’ve woken – actually, the feeling of those intense emotions usually stay with you forever.
  • Visitation dreams aren’t long or drawn out. They are usually simple, to the point, incredibly real, powerful, and then they are gone. Once the main reason for the visit or main message has been conveyed, that’s when you will usually wake up.
  • The communication is focused on reassurance, forgiveness, healing, and to let you know they are okay. If there is some warning your loved one has for you, it too will be to the point, and then backed with reassurance and a feeling of love and support through their presence.

If this happens to you, trust that a real dream visitation has occurred; know that your loved one is well, and that even after death they offer their love, reassurance, and support from beyond the physical.

Lisa Caza, 2017

 

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